Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
You are texting your colleague back while your child is telling you about what happened at school.
While your teenager is venting, you interrupt them with what you think is the right solution.
Your toddler is trying to tell you something and you finish off their sentence.
You are so engulfed in your own thoughts that you realize you have no idea what your child was saying.
I could probably go on and make an endless list of scenarios because I admit that I've caught myself in those situations...a handful of times! If you have, too, do not fret.
You don't have to wait until that day your child will tell you how inattentive you are or how terrible of a listener you've become. It wasn't easy for me to hear that from my daughter who straight out told me she'd never tell me anything ever again. Remember, anyone can listen, but to be an active listener is what we must achieve.
Actively listening to your child while they speak begins with your willingness to put aside EVERYTHING you are doing and to give them your 'undivided' attention.
When you are actively listening, you are telling your child that they are important.
You are also building your child's listening skills by showing them that you can listen.
Here are some tips to become an active listener:
Eye contact is important while someone is speaking to you. Face your child without your shoulders turned. This shows them that you are receiving what they are telling you.
Put your phone aside during your conversations. Even a second of looking at your phone will cause you to miss important points or messages.
Wait until they are done speaking before you answer. Think about one point they've mentioned and repeat it back to them so they can see that you've listened.
Remember, sometimes they just want you to hear them out without giving your advice.
After they are done speaking, ask relevant questions to reconnect.
Be proud of your child for communicating their feelings, ideas, and stories to you. Grasp onto this moment and see how they are growing as individuals.
Being an active listener helps you to know and understand your child better. This is an integral skill needed to build strong & meaningful communication between you and your child.